you know when you've got a hard-boiled egg and are trying to peel the shell off that motha but IT JUST WON'T COOPERATE and you wind up peeling half of the egg off with that stubborn shell?
A woman handed this flyer to me on the street last week. I thought it was a nice little thing to have happen but didn't really give it much thought. It's been sitting on my desk innocently, just some nice bright words I've been unconsciously catching in the corner of my mind. I took the time to go to the site today. Seems like these sorts of programs are growing in number, people are into it, seeing past the surface more and more. Not a bad thing...
"...escape is a paradox, because a childhood is locked in that music box..."
- Atmosphere : 'In Her Music Box'
- Atmosphere : 'In Her Music Box'
"In the last few days, I've been learning how to not trust people and I'm glad I failed. Sometimes we depend on other people as a mirror to define us and tell us who we are. And each reflection makes me like myself a little more" .... "Trust everyone but always cut the cards. Best thing my father ever taught me. You know what that means? It means never trust anybody"
- my blueberry nights
____________________________________
convo with a wifey aka psycho babel
[10:29] Emy: ya but I know him and he prob wont wanna pay
[10:29] acm: you know him
[10:29] acm: you know him
[10:29] acm: lol
[10:29] acm: try to throw that out the window
[10:29] Emy: hahahhahahaah
[10:29] acm: flip it
[10:29] Emy: what
[10:29] acm: perspective
[10:31] Emy: hmm like look at it through his eyes
[10:32] acm: mm not necessarily
[10:33] acm: idk we all have filters
[10:33] acm: you kno? from habit
[10:33] Emy: what im not gettin you
[10:33] acm: and we don't allow things to just BE, we judge based on bias and things that may or may not be certain but we fill them with certainty bc we need something off which to judge a situation by
[10:34] acm: so we can react
[10:34] acm: and it can be predictable in a sense
[10:34] acm: its a survival mechanism i think
[10:34] acm: like something to protect our expectations so we know how to deal with them
[10:34] acm: but we don't realize that they are in fact controlling us
[10:34] acm: but we don't realize that they are in fact controlling us
[10:34] acm: driving cycles of not always healthy psychological processes
[10:35] Emy: so your saying let it be
[10:35] acm: i guess
[10:35] acm: lol
[10:36] acm: THANKS BEATLES
This entry is a work in progress. Like Life. I want to hit enter when everything I feel I need to say is in here. But I am impatient and I want to release these things as soon as they are composed. I don't even know who will read it. I don't care. I just want it out there. Liberated for chance to deliver to the eyes and head and hearts of whoever it may.
These words do not begin to define...
2008 : ∞ : 2+0+0+8 : 1
This year's magintude cannot be more evident for me, in my own life, and the lives of those in the world around me. A guy stopped in the street when he saw me reading Blue Like Jazz. Sitting on a bench in the sun for my lunch break. He paused to tell me he had just finished the book. I was nearly done myself. I told him "there's no such thing as a coincidence" and he responded with "you got that right." The randomness of my choice of response kept me thinking for a few seconds. I felt kind-of awkward to have said that to a stranger but I meant what I said and I said what I meant. He kept walking. I turned around, watched him leave. I wanted him to stay. To talk and just, stay. I teared. I kept reading. And with the next sentance began the most important part of the book, came the most holistic, fused, nugget, core, heart of life, call it what you can, what you may, whatever dreams will work their way into words. It doesn't matter. No words can explain the sentiments that those words offered. I kept reading, tears of joy came to my eyes, I got that tight feeling in my throat and chest. I got up, read while walking. All the crosswalks were white. All the people parted for me. I didn't have to look up. Something guided me back. I heaved in the elevator, alone and f***ing vibrating. With a power and wholeness. It's fleeting. But all I can hope for is to preserve the feeling with a feeble composition. Maybe it will help. Something. Someone. I just want to be of service. To love. To love and to be of service. This is not religious. This is not about institutions. This is about the only things that really matter. In the end, it doesn't matter but this isn't the end. This is here and now. The present is infinate. And that we cannot wrap our minds around. The present is eternal. The present is a GIFT. That's why it's called the PRESENT.
2008 : ∞ : 2+0+0+8 : 1
This year's magintude cannot be more evident for me, in my own life, and the lives of those in the world around me. A guy stopped in the street when he saw me reading Blue Like Jazz. Sitting on a bench in the sun for my lunch break. He paused to tell me he had just finished the book. I was nearly done myself. I told him "there's no such thing as a coincidence" and he responded with "you got that right." The randomness of my choice of response kept me thinking for a few seconds. I felt kind-of awkward to have said that to a stranger but I meant what I said and I said what I meant. He kept walking. I turned around, watched him leave. I wanted him to stay. To talk and just, stay. I teared. I kept reading. And with the next sentance began the most important part of the book, came the most holistic, fused, nugget, core, heart of life, call it what you can, what you may, whatever dreams will work their way into words. It doesn't matter. No words can explain the sentiments that those words offered. I kept reading, tears of joy came to my eyes, I got that tight feeling in my throat and chest. I got up, read while walking. All the crosswalks were white. All the people parted for me. I didn't have to look up. Something guided me back. I heaved in the elevator, alone and f***ing vibrating. With a power and wholeness. It's fleeting. But all I can hope for is to preserve the feeling with a feeble composition. Maybe it will help. Something. Someone. I just want to be of service. To love. To love and to be of service. This is not religious. This is not about institutions. This is about the only things that really matter. In the end, it doesn't matter but this isn't the end. This is here and now. The present is infinate. And that we cannot wrap our minds around. The present is eternal. The present is a GIFT. That's why it's called the PRESENT.
In high school I came across these words from Walt Whitman (or rather, they came across me?):
Re-examine all you have been taught at school, in church, or read in any book. Dismiss whatever insults your soul and your very flesh shall be a great poem.
Re-examine all you have been taught at school, in church, or read in any book. Dismiss whatever insults your soul and your very flesh shall be a great poem.
Questions:
What does time afford you? What does it bring? At what point do the nonnegligible differences in age dissipate? (I looked that word up to see if it existed and google popped this out: The Nonnegligible Lightness of Gravity) What qualifies as a nonnegligible difference?
What's with all the questions?
I've been wanting to share this song so badly lately because it makes me feel so good. Really. I can't explain it but it does. Maybe it's the comfort of Slug's voice, flanked by P.O.S' verses. All the verses, they're woven so damn well!! The message is so...hArd. SO hard. And that BEAT. Oooh! Makes my body bob like some badass riding dirty. lol. Uhhh it's just too good. I can't get over it. I've been listening to this song for over 2 years and it still gets me. Slug (aka Atmosphere, aka Sean, aka Virgo), you will forever, for eva-eva, remain in the top rankings of my musical heart. You embody everything that was my bittersweet first year in a new city. You are ugly and God loves it.
This has been my ringer for the past week and, as such, my alarm in the morning. (disclaimer: I am NOT one of those loser-mania people who have obnoxious ringers, clearly)...
The sun has been pouring into my room these past mornings (good morning to you too!). Progressively, the green on the trees out that window has been intensifying.
Try waking up to these claps. You gon' clap back. (hahaha oh, Ja)
Days like this give me a feeling of supreme comfort and stability, and I am grateful. Grateful for that feeling of no matter what is going on out there that you might be 'missing' out on, you know that there's no place better than where you are (in bed). After running around for days, weeks, doing doing doing, it's nice to stop and elect to spend a day in the comforts of home. This particular day will always have a strong notoriety for me, for many I'm certain. The sort of day where laziness is celebrated and inhaled with much appreciation and fanfare. I've got a pile of movies from the library (don't even get me started on how comforting and what home-like love I've got for the library), books, CDs and pictures to sort through, plans to dream up and an imagination happy to take a day off whilstill roaring on.
So, what promted this entry was my attempt to post some events on the smallworld network. This is what I got:
Thanks for the reminder. Even better, thanks for the affirmation of what I already felt at this very moment. It's great when people, places, things around you confirm what you are already living for yourself. The more you listen, the more confirmation you'll get. There's a certain joy in receiving consistent reassurance from the world around you that you are part of the process, that as personal and private as your sentiments are, as invisible as they will stay, locked up in your head, they are still shared by others. Knowing that can save lives. We are all the same because we are all different because we are all human. Duhhh.
Speaking of the future of communication, it's inevitable that we will one day be able to read each other's minds. Check out the Thiaoouba Prophecy. It kind of turned my world upside down at the end of the summer, existential 'crisis' and all but really, if there isn't something in there that speaks to you, you're lying to yourself- to the truth. Annnnnd everyone thought I was crazy when I tried to explain the premise. Whatever. (If you'd like me to e-mail you the PDF don't hesitate to ask.)
Some quotes from T.P.:
"Man exists physically for the sole purpose of developing spiritually."
"...on Earth, you have not even achieved the first letter of the word civilisation."
"First, if you want to 'elevate' yourself, you must meditate and then concentrate, which is different, although often the two are confused. You do not need to go to a special place, for the greatest and most beautiful temple of man is inside himself."
I'm going to end by asking this question.
Just like a dentist workin on a root canal...Metal-to-Axon contact. Real. Like lightning. No. Realer.
You know how they say, "There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's!"?
My ass there isn't!
In mass quantities.
There's a wrong way to eat a Reese's!
I swear, there is a form of crack in almost every single food product the US manufactures.
My ass there isn't!
In mass quantities.
There's a wrong way to eat a Reese's!
I swear, there is a form of crack in almost every single food product the US manufactures.
You heard it here first.
"I never liked Jazz Music because Jazz Music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that I liked Jazz Music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself.
It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened."
....................................................................................................................................
In America, the first generation out of slavery invented
Jazz Music.
It is a free-form expression.
It comes from the soul, and it is true.
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later,
I'll get what I'm asking for
No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger,
I gotta let my spirit be free
To admit that I'm wrong
To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but
I have to move on
and leave you behind
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize,
nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once,
needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo,
I'll always have you
I'll always have you
I'll always have you
I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror,
didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could
Stop,
Stop,
admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry
but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind
If I live every moment
If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
It's still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do
Just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you
all I really want is to dance to this song at my wedding
I may be falling in love with you, NYC...
Bargain Laughs with Bite...
Not-so-cheap cheap laughs...
So I have to say that the Comedy Cellar this Friday was a bit of a disappointment (altho the footage I caught is pretty chuckle-worthy). All the comedians picked on the SAME people in the audience, saying basically the SAME things. The jokes were often TOO easy and crude, they didn't even seem like they had really prepared anything. Kind of annoying when you pay for cover and 2 drinks that you feel like you have to chug down because the set might end. I know the point is to get you nice and lubed up to laugh but it just gave me a nasty headache the next morning. (I admit, I could have chosen water over 2 long islands ha). Plus if a joke is good, it's good- lix or sans. The only two really worthy fellas were Kurt Somethingorother and Sherrod, and the MC who is a down fella. Sherrod tho, man not gonna lie, kinda disappointed. He was funny just being himself but that's all he was. I mean, would it kill you to put a little effort in your act? I felt like he totally winged it. Which says a lot about your innate sense of humor/embodyment of funny (word up to you) but relying on stereotypes and people in the crowd who were, lets face it, milked, just doesn't do it for me 100%. His shit was deeper and more layered for sure but the fact that he kept referencing the crowd's ignorance to how 'over your head' that must have been took away from it. Or maybe it enhanced it, hum? Either way the crowd at CC was pretty dopey. Peeps from NJ, Staten Island. Nuff said... Not to stereotype or anything but yeaaaaa....
Now, what I saw at the Upright Citizen's Brigade last night was FUNNY. I mean, there was clearly THOUGHT behind it, IN it. For $5 I feel like I'd stolen some intellectual property. The various sketches provided sociological commentary at a level deeper and more meaningful (not to mention beautifully sarcastic) than "you are an (insert race.nationality.religion here) and that makes you (blank)" -now laugh. The improvers at UCB were insightful and definatley pushed the boundaries on redefining the role and effect of 'laughter spectacles'. Definately more indie than your classic comedy club and I guess that's just the beauty of NYC. You can see it all!
There's definately something to be said about medicine now. It= MUSIC, LAUGHTER, GOOD FOOD, HUGS. And other things.
But that's for another day...
you're not {outwardly} taking the time to reflect on 'life' (whatever it happens to be at the moment), it's a sure sign you're LIVING it
These cards have pretty much satisfied everything I never knew I needed to say. I have been known to spend other people's time perusing this site. And by perusing I mean clicking each and every category available, followed by a careful progression through 100s of pastel-colored etchings. Said person got over it when I shared the intensely spectacular non-PC wit each and every one of these digital 3x5s delivers. The most effective one-two punch to hit the internet since this wonderful product.
Mr. Some E, I extend my hand to you. Now kiss it, you certainly have earned that privilege. (wow did I just write that? and leave it? humm)
And by the by, some of these cards are total ice breakers, no, better. Initiators. Gives you the balls to do something ballsy, just so you can have a reason to hit send...(that is, when you care enough). Nothing better than poking fun at yourself first!
Some of my favorites....
Honestly, I could do this all day............
Now for the REAL fun! Guess which one's I've actually sent!!!
YES! THE solution.
saw this on Friday at the NY Underground Film Festival. Can't decide how I feel about this 'movie', documentary....I should see it again, you kno...
His stand-up comedy routine seemed to have been improved during the 30-day smoke period. Good jokes all around tho.
Besides that, there was one VERY interesting fact that stuck with me- a man he interviewed shared that out of 65 regular marijuana smokers he had spoken with, 60 of them lacked a constant father figure in their formative years. Smoke for thought....
amazing=
While browsing the NEW MUSEUM'S book store, this book caught me standing in its pages for a good 20 minutes. A must. 
VOTE for #16 - CONSTANTIN BRANCUSI!
rented this last night. nostalgia double time. but really, not trying to go back there for an extended period yet. too into NEW life!!!
No, Seriously though (you know who you were, DB) 
warning: clicking pic may lead to reverse psychological effects
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