CUT TO
Sex
Now. H:ahahahahahahahaha shut up
I'm coming. Like, twice. Jesus complex. Sue me, white lunar world
bridger. Was that the one? Two?
Make me. Yea, I said it. Ohhh no she didn't
Craisins. Dried. Cranberries. Jenius mother trucker. Eeeew remember
trucker hats? BARF. Von Douche!!!
What in G*d's legal name change?
[Scenes from my screenplay-by-play]
Sharpen you knife skills, Ninja.
You know what the beast oops, best thing to do is? Accept your fate.
Except, your fate.
It's like that board (bored) game, Sorry! You take the wrong way, but
ya get to slide weeeeee. You make it either way, right?
We need bankable people. The big wigs said. Someone the masses can
look up to, can aspire to be like.
What? I want them to be like
THEMSELVES. You jerks! Go peddle your wares elsewhere. And I plucked a
cookie from their breakfast platter. Can I inspire them to listen to
their hearts? And get into their hearts first, you know, preach the
goodstuff?
Look up the word in the dictionary, their expressions pop up- dubious. Level it off, you've lost them.
Society can only evolve as much as the least evolved man. Oh, f*uck!!
What happened to the teacher at the back of the line? Wasn't she supposed to hurry those stragglers along? Is she the least evolved? Cross the dang street already!
Listen, we don't care about society. We're sitting like some fat, stuffed Christmas ducks on this stock and need to sell, or we'll explode and tax payers are pretty sick of cleaning up the mess, ya catch my drift. So we need you. That buzz--
Will it sell these 60,000 t-shirts we had slave-crafted in Cambodia?
Mannn fuck you! What if your mom was working in that factory? Huh?
Think about that. Man. I mean really. Think about it. Take a damn
tshirt from the goodwill box and craft some shit. You think recycling
is limited to those blue bins? Fuck your trash organizer.
My subway stop's got the word CLASS in it. Take that and put it in
your damn pipe and smoke it. Yea, stick it in the tail pipe of that
Cadillac escalope de veau. Bone up man! Killing animals and shit your
carbon footprint is Jurassic! Fuck, the hybrid.
You ever hear of the Butterfly Effect? Yea, forget it. Welcome, the Stampede of Elephants Effect. You must not be thinking on the same scale as you're acting on. It's too bad.
We in the same boat, you claim?
You're probably right.
Only my boat is sailing, not docked and anchored.
With SAILS. That butterfly? Its fallen cocoon shook the cliffs deep within the sea. That wave is carrying me!
Your seamstress? Yea, the one who could be your mother? The pin she dropped while sewing those cotton-poly blend t-shirts just tripped her colleague. Why? Because her back is bad. And she had to stick her leg out to retrieve it.
That fallen woman tried to catch herself on a sewing machine in motion.
She lost a finger!
And you want me to get on QVC and SELL THIS CRAP!?
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