I was having a conversation with a successful 50-something creative director at a major cable network the other night.
He was the keeper of his little quirks, he understands what drives him- in life, in the workplace; and he knows what he likes, what he wants-- and doesn't need to justify it or change it for anyone.
But there was a sadness. He felt it, I felt it. An element of his life he had given up on, having never really tried to begin with...
He loves women. Beautiful women, smart women, interesting women. Women. (period). And on this I heartily concurred. There is absolutely nothing more moving than a full woman who engages the senses, the imagination. Call it the feminine mystique, whatever you will; but male, female, child, elderly-- we can all appreciate that other half who, with a full-hearted grin can over-take a moment to make things a smidge more interesting (regardless of her I.Q.).
And although he was single and, I got the sense, accepting of the possibility that he probably always would be, I knew behind those successful, career-satisfied-eyes, he wouldn't have minded if things were different. His parents were married, had been for ever. He had 3 other brothers who all, like him, were not married. He began to psycho-deconstruct it, "My brothers and I, we don't get it, none of us are married yet we come from a parents who happily are and have been."
I brought it to the real-time. The element of time. "Well it's all about what you allow. What you make time for in your head." I challenged him: "I think we all have the potential for a lot more than we imagine. We are capable of devoting ourselves to elements beyond what we've habitually established, but we just don't allow it."
Indeed, why must it so often be one or the other? We make our choices and we choose it to be, contentedly, taking full accountability and pride in our decisions. But there comes a time in many people's lives when, having built their success, their empires, they realize there's still more, or, to look at it conversely, less-- something missing. And the feeling of "what have I been denying while my full energy and attention has been elsewhere?"
Can we be successful and multi-dimensional? Does success necessitate a full immersion, one-minded, fully-dedicated consciousness? Or can we stretch the limits of our desires (as little or big as they may be), our abilities to obtain those desires, to co-exist with the things we know, are comfortable with, have set up for life, seemingly, not to compromise on. Or are those phases on our personal evolutions strictly individual, immovable to the hand of choice?
Growth, the vision of new directions; I wanted to impart that ability on my new drinking buddy. Maybe if, as I speak of my ideas and visions, I blow my cigarette smoke in his direction those tiny wishes will adhere to the particles of exhaust and penetrate his habits of thought, of action, of belief; I thought.
Of course the potential exists in us all to have those things we want, indeed to first imagine them the way they'd be best. And what of fulfillment? Maybe all we need is the permission -- someone to tell us it's possible simply by introducing the novel idea at the right time, with the right dose of osmosis. And then the tides of change can begin their work...
You never know who will drop in on you to help.
Let's be there for each other, people.
Is change for ourselves through another too much to handle on the full plates of today?
by
trulymadlydeeply
On
Sunday, December 06, 2009
0 Responses to 'Is change for ourselves through another too much to handle on the full plates of today?'